What Hurts the Most
by HomeSpunLove37
Summary: Ron and Hermione fight with each other and for each other, Ginny helps Harry deal with Sirius' death, Malfoy falls dangerously in love with Hermione. Some Remus and Tonks later. Takes place in year 6.
1. The First Snow

What Hurts the Most

Hey! This fanfic takes place it their 6th year, but it's not like how the book was. I changed it up a lot. And yes, the title is also the name of a Rascal Flatts song. (You'll see that coming into the story later) This is my first Harry fanfic, so be nice! PLEASE REVIEW! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter…I do own this story.

Ch 1: The First Snow

Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran to meet each other in the Gryffindor Common Room one late afternoon during Christmas Vacation.

"It's the first snow of the year!" Hermione sighed happily. She couldn't believe how beautiful it was. All of the trees came together under the sun, which was layering the snow with what looked like glistening diamonds. It seemed almost perfect to her.

In her 6th year, she was sure that she would have no problem with her schoolwork. Hogwarts, her home for the last 5 years, wouldn't be a part of her life after only 2 more years. She decided her friends were what was most important to her during her last years here, and so far it was going fine.

Her cheeks flushed red when she felt two hands come around her back. One big warm hand was placed her waist protectively, yet slightly awkwardly. Another different cold, yet scrawny hand flopped casually, yet carelessly around her bare neck.

Hermione swallowed hard. _'Harry's been acting really weird lately. Well, actually he's been acting weird since Sirius died. But now he's randomly… over-affectionate towards me. And towards a lot of other girls.'_ Hermione sighed and looked at Ron. _'He actually cares about me. But things haven't been ok between us since… since that time.' _

"Yeah. It'll be getting colder." Ron stammered. _'Oh! Nice job, Ron. What a way to state the obvious. I can only imagine what Hermione could think of me. Well, I'm sure of one thing: Hermione will never care for me like I care for her.'_ He shut his eyes hard. _'And what is Harry's problem? He's never like this.'_ Ron glared at Harry.

"Yep. People sure will have to get cozy by the fire" Harry grinned, leaning in closer to Hermione. _'What is Ron's problem? What is everyone's problem? I'm sick of being "The Boy Who Lived". Even my best friends are treating me weird. Ever since Sirius…'_

"Well, I have to get to…um, the library. I'll see you guys later." She said quickly while making her escape. _'Why does Harry have to act like that? He's acting like that one time… like what happened meant something. And it's been ages since then. _She hurried out of the big portrait. _'I sure hope he stops. I don't know how long I could last. Well, at least there's Ron.'_ She felt herself cheer up just thinking about him.

Thoughts immediately rushed in her mind about her 3rd year. She impulsively grabbed his hand when she first saw Buckbeak. And she remembered how nervous she felt when he was in the Hospital Wing. And then Victor Krum came and Ron didn't seem to exist anymore. Then earlier this year… But now…

"No Hermione! He's just a friend now!" she scolded herself out loud.

"You bet he's just a friend, Granger. No one would want a Mudblood!" Malfoy scoffed as he appeared out of nowhere and was now towering over her.

'_Look at her.'_ Malfoy thought as a hurt look quickly flickered across her face. It disappeared and was replaced with anger. _'Well, she sure has a temper. And a body.' _He thought. _'What?'_ Suddenly, before he knew it, he leaned close to her, their lips only inches apart. He was about to lean in closer but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hand coming fast at his cheek and he quickly blocked it.

"No. That's not very nice." He said. He could tell she was outraged.

'_Who does he think he is? I'm tired of all of his tricks. It's hard enough worrying about Harry doing things like that… Why would Malfoy try to kiss me anyway? Oh that's just disgusting!'_ Hermione thought.

Malfoy leaned in and she felt his icy lips against hers. It was the same coldness that was in Harry's hand. She closed her lips tight, trying to pull away from him, but he was holding her too tightly.

Ron was still staring at the door where Hermione had left when he noticed Harry had gone too. _'How come I feel like the lowest person in the world? Especially when Harry is being a huge jerk to Hermione. I mean, what could be causing him to be such a pervert!'_

Ron shuffled up the stairs to the boys' bedrooms when he saw Harry knocking on one of the girls' bedroom doors. When it finally opened, Ginny was there to greet him. Ron quickly ran up to the boys room to stay out of their sight, but he kept an eye on them.

'_God, why does everyone have to run off and leave me here alone? Doesn't "The Chosen One" deserve friends? At least I know there's always Ginny.' _Harry stood waiting by Ginny's room.

"_Knock, knock, knock."_

"Harry!" Ginny nearly squealed, after opening the door. Immediately, her cheeks got bright red. _'Why would Harry come to see me?'_ She thought.

"Um, Harry, what are you doing here?" Ginny asked. "Oh." Of course. "Hermione's not here."

"No, Gin, I wanted to see you! It's gettin kind of lonely out here and I was wondering if you wanted to sit by the fire or something. You know it's the first snow of the season." Harry asked.

"Sure!" Ginny said, clearly surprised. Harry held out his hand. She took it and followed him to the couch in front of the fireplace. He sat down and patted the place next to him. She sat down, put her head on his shoulder, and curled her legs up on the couch.

"Ginny, do you ever feel that everyone's expecting something out of you? And if you can't be who they want, they're disappointed in you?" he asked.

"Sometimes." Ginny said. "But most the time, I'm the one expecting too much of myself." She blurted out, blushing fiercely.

"You shouldn't be." He said.

"I guess you're tired of being… well, being the hero all the time." Ginny said quietly.

Harry nodded, kind of surprised. He leaned towards her so they were inches apart and breathed slightly against her lips. She looked into his eyes, still in shock, when his lips came crashing down on hers. The kiss deepened and Harry put his hands on her waist and she laid down on the couch with him on top of her. By the time the two disappeared behind the head of the couch Ron knew it was time to do something.

As he started down the flight of stairs and saw Ginny unbuttoning Harry's flannel green plaid t-shirt, he realized how mad Ginny would be if he did something. _'But she's my little sister!'_ his mind was screaming. But something else was telling him that he should find. _'I'll have to trust that Harry won't hurt her. It'll shouldn't take long.' _He quietly crept down the stairs and out of the portrait door.

Across the school, Malfoy deepened the kiss, holding Hermione tight in his arms, and pushed her against the painting of Mirabella Plunkett. Hermione tried to push him away, but he only kissed her harder.

Ron hurried down the corridors not knowing where she could be. It was obvious as she left that she wasn't going to the library. But where could she have gone? After searching the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff halls, he searched the Ravenclaw halls, near where they had their DA meetings, but there was no sight of her.

'_But why would she be in the Slytherin Halls?'_ he thought to himself turning down the same hall she and Malfoy were in.

"Hermione?"

Hermione tried to look at Ron, tears now rolling down her cheeks, but Malfoy had her pinned to the wall.

"Can I help you Weasel? You know, we're kind of in the middle of something." Malfoy barked.

"Ron!" Hermione yelled, her voice strained. Ron started over to Hermione, already reaching for his wand. Before he could pull it out, Malfoy punched him.

"Weasley, stay out of my way!" Malfoy warned him. "Now you," he turned to Hermione, "You come here." He leaned in again. Ron aimed his wand at Malfoy.

"I wouldn't do that Weasley."

"And why not?" Ron asked.

"Because my father doesn't like it when other people spoil my fun." Malfoy turned towards Hermione again.

Hermione tried pushing him away, but he pinned her arms against his body.

She hated this. She hated being there; knowing Ron had to see her with Malfoy. She hated Christmas. She hated being so powerless to Malfoy. They boy who called her "Mudblood" every time they passed in the halls, was now groping her in front of Ron. There was nothing she could do. As Malfoy put his hand up her shirt, she shut her eyes, wondering if she should just give in.

Then she got an idea.

She looked at Ron, who standing there numb, horrified, and defeated, and tried to mouth the words, 'do something'. When he pulled out his wand again, she grabbed Malfoy's face and kissed him to distract him, tears still pouring down her face continuously.

"Riddikulus!" Ron shouted at Malfoy. Malfoy went into a fit of chuckles and backed away holding himself, laughing hysterically.

"What is this, Mr. Weasley? That's not a very nice way to get into the Christmas spirit, now is it?" Snape spat.

"He was hurting 'ermione!" Ron defended himself.

"Oh, well I'm sure she'll get over it." He said, glancing briefly at a disheveled and shaken Hermione. "You, however, now owe me a list of every spell ever noted in alphabetical order from Z to A. 15 points deducted from Gryffindor." Snape turned and led a hysterical Malfoy back to his office.

"Ron." Hermione choked out.

"How could you go through these halls? You were setting yourself up!" Ron shouted.

"Oh Ron, how was I supposed to know he was going to be here? I certainly didn't expect him to do that!" Hermione sobbed.

"So you're defending him?" Ron exclaimed.

"No! Malfoy hates me! I never thought--"

"You? Not thinking? Wow, that's a surprise!"

"I needed to take a walk! I wasn't paying attention. I was mad! What is your problem?" she screamed.

"Hermione, you were practically RAPED!" Ron yelled.

"Yes! Well, if I was almost raped, why are you yelling at me, Ron?" She said between sobs. "Why aren't you... holding me? Why are you... doing this? I thought you cared about me!" she screamed back at him. He was silenced.

"I do care for you, 'ermione." Ron whispered.

"No." She turned to leave.

"Hermione!" Ron tried grabbing her arm. She pulled away.

"I've had enough of people trying to grab at me for one day. You can at least let me get some rest."

"Right." He said quietly, as they walked back to the Gryffindor Common room. "I'll see you in the morning."

They entered the Gryffindor Common Room through the portrait hole. Harry and Ginny were gone already, so they bid each other 'good night' and walked upstairs to their rooms.

A/N: I hoped you enjoyed it! It was a little more dramatic then expected. I'll try and post tomorrow. REVIEW!


	2. Confessions In the Dark

Hey everyone!

Yeah, so here's chapter 2! Now, I really don't know how long this will be, so it might be more then 12 days! I hope you enjoy it! Read and REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own "What Hurts the Most", the Rascal Flatts song. I don't own Harry Potter… I do own Ron! (Or I wish I did! Hee hee hee)

Ch 2: Confessions In the Dark

Ginny laid in her bed staring at the ceiling. It was late now, everyone was asleep, but her. Well, except for Hermione. She wasn't even in the room yet. _'Where is she?'_ Ginny thought. And thinking about Hermione made her think about Harry. _'What is it with them? I always used to think they were just so close… and would save each other's lives because they're like brother and sister. But lately… Harry's always been around her. And on her. Giving her looks. Giving her butt looks… Actually, he's been doing that to a lot of girls lately.'_ Ginny swallowed hard, remembering what she had just done with him on the Common Room sofa. _'It was amazing.'_ She thought. But another voice echoed those four haunting words: _'A lot of girls'. _

Earlier was everything she always dreamed it would be with Harry. But how come it doesn't seem to mean anything to him? _'Well, he's a guy.'_ That was an encouraging thought: sex is always going to be meaningless to guys. _'He doesn't even seem to like me. Like I'm something special. Like I like him'_ So why would he be going out to do "meaningless things" with any girl he wanted all of a sudden?

'_I'm just "one of the girls he's been with" now. What happened to him? He was never like this. He probably is just tired of being the hero. He's tired of not being able to have fun. So… he's using me.' _A tear rolled down into her ear. _'I love him. I'm not gonna lose him. I just have to remind him of the kind of girl I am.'_

She wiped her face dry, when someone slipped inside the door. _'Hermione'_ Ginny thought to herself, as the shadow tip-toed to her bed and lied down. _'Where has she been out to so late?'_ Ginny rolled over and tried to make herself fall asleep before she could wonder if Hermione had become "one of the girls he's been with" just now. Or wonder if Hermione had been "one of the girls he's been with" for a long time already.

Across the room, Hermione rolled over in her bed. She knew Ginny was awake and saw her come in. She also knew Ginny was probably up thinking about Harry. _'It's not like it'd be the first time._' But she knew, that this time, Ginny had been crying. Like she was. _'Ginny really loves Harry. Does she know how he is now? Does she know he hits on me? Does she know…'_ Hermione's stomach filled with guilt, when the memory of a time earlier at the end of summer came into her mind.

It was at the Burrow. The day she arrived there, it was just her and Ron, Harry hadn't come yet. She came by Floo Powder, since Mr. Weasley arranged for their fireplace to be part of the Floo Network temporarily. The whole Weasley family drove a borrowed car Muggle-style to Harry's to get him except for Ron, who was home waiting to meet her. She remembered that day perfectly.

-----------------------------------------(flashback to that day)--------------------------------------

Hermione stood in her parents' living room to say good-bye.

"Well, bye mum. Bye dad." Hermione kept her face as sad as she could. She really would miss her parents, but every year at this time, the excitement of going back to Hogwarts was immensely stronger then her missing them. As if on cue, like every year, her mother started to cry and her dad, being a dentist, handed her a new toothbrush, some toothpaste, and floss.

"Twice a day." He said, forcing a stretched smile.

"Oh Dad, there's spells for keeping your teeth clean."

"Nonsense." He said. Hermione gave them each a hug and a kiss, then turned and stepped into the fire. The flames turned green and spun around her, and suddenly she was there. And there Ron was.

" 'ermione." Ron squeaked nervously, seeming somewhat out of breath.

"Ron." She said, blushing hard. She looked at him, standing there, smiling at her. Hermione forgot the butterflies in her stomach and ran over to Ron and threw her arms around his neck. Then Ron pulled away and looked at her.

"You've got some… um, soot right there." He said, reaching out and brushing her cheek with his hand. Chills erupted up and down her spine as he touched her.

"Thanks." She whispered. He kept his hand resting on her face and they both started breathing harder.

Ron leaned in and kissed her full on her lips and with a surge of emotion, Hermione him close to her. Kissing her more deeply, Ron fell back onto the couch, pulling her on top of him. Ron kissed her neck and started unbuttoning her shirt, when she tugged eagerly on the back of his shirt collar.

"Whoa!" A voice yelled.

"Ginny!" Hermione shouted as she turned around and saw Ginny standing over them with a huge grin on her face.

"Ginny!" Ron screamed as Hermione jumped off of him. "What are you doing here?"

"We're back Ron." Ginny smiled. "The whole family plus Harry."

Hermione buried her bright-red cheeks in her hands and turned around to the wall.

"Ginny? You… You can't… You better not… Ginny…" Ron stuttered.

"Say anything? About what you two were just… doing? What--?"

"We were just… talking!" Ron insisted, his face redder then his hair.

"Oh really?" Ginny laughed.

"Ginny…" Hermione started. "Please don't—"

"I won't say anything Hermione." Ginny said. "Personally, I think it's great."

Hermione smiled and turned to look at Ron, but he was gone. The smile fell off her face.

"Hello Hermione." A slightly gloomy voice said from behind her. She turned around to see Harry looking empty and tortured right after losing his godfather.

"Harry." Hermione gave him a hug.

"What… happened to you?" Harry asked and a hint of amusement flickered on his face.

"Oh… I came by Floo, just some soot—" Hermione looked down and noticed her shirt was unbuttoned almost down to her belly-button. She blushed. "Nothing." She said quietly and quickly buttoned up her blouse, wondering why Ron disappeared right away.

"And where's—"

"I don't know where Ron is, Harry." She snapped. Hermione looked at Harry. Her already lost interest and amusement in the situation and was staring outside. He looked tired. "Oh Harry." She said, walking closer to him and holding him.

"Hermione." Ron said, walking into the room. Then he saw Hermione and Harry together. Hermione pulled away quickly.

"Oh, hello Ron." Harry said.

"Harry." Ron acknowledged him coldly. He looked from him to Hermione, and then left.

"Ron!" Hermione called, following him outside. "Ron, what's wrong?" Ron didn't answer. "Ron… why did you leave earlier?"

"Hermione, I really like you. But once Ginny said she thought you and me, together, were great, I realized this was great--."

"Well, I think it is too." Hermione beamed.

"I realized then, it was too good. Too good to be true! And I was right!" Ron yelled.

"What?"

"You like Harry don't you?" Ron accused.

"What? Ron! Harry just lost Sirius!" Hermione insisted. "I was comforting him! That's all!"

"Well, if that was you comforting him, then blimey! You really cheered him up! He sure looked happy!" Ron spat.

"Ron!" Hermione said quietly, the corners of her eyes burning.

"You were all over him!" He yelled.

"Ron, stop it!" she screamed.

"Let's just forget about this. About this fight, about… about earlier too." Ron said, staring hard at the ground.

"I don't want to forget about earlier, Ron."

"Well, if you like Harry, I'm doing you a favor."

"I don't--."

"Or you don't like either of us and you're just messing with us!" He yelled.

"Ron, you know I'm not like that. And you're not doing me any favor by… by hurting me like this!" Hermione said, turning to the house to let any tears fall unnoticed.

"Fine. Go." Ron snapped. Hermione went inside, just as Fred, George, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie raced past her to go to the fields to play Quidditch. Hermione wondered upstairs.

"Harry?" Are you ok? She called to him through his and Ron's closed bedroom door.

"Yeah."

"Can I… come in?" she asked.

"Sure." He said. Hermione opened the door to find Harry staring at the wall, sitting sideways on his bed. Hermione sat down next to him. Thinking about Ron and how much she wanted him and how much she hated fighting with him, she started crying. The tears started flowing and Harry put his arm around her and held her close to him.

"I'm so sorry!" she said, trying to stop crying. "How are you, Harry?" she asked, more tears streaming down her cheeks. She put her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

"I'm not fine." He whispered. And then he kissed her. They kissed deeply and lied down on the bed. There was no emotion and no longing to it. It was completely numb between two hurt people who felt numb inside. He kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth and tears rolled down her cheeks. He kissed her neck and she cried harder, remembering how Ron kissed her neck earlier. Now, there was no passion or love, but they made out, their arms around each other and their lips locked. He unbuttoned her shirt, but before he could do anything else there, Hermione tried to pull away. This was supposed to be Ron, but Ron never got that far with her.

"Harry… no… stop it." Hermione pleaded between sobs. "I can't." She said, pushing him away.

Harry got off. Hermione lay there on the bed crying until she heard the Weasleys come inside and then she crept into her own room and went to sleep.

------------------------------------------(Flashback ends)-----------------------------------------

That day started so amazing and ended so bad. For a while, things were awkward between her and Ron. Then, after a while, things were great. They were closer friends then ever, bet now, the feelings came back. _'So I do love Ron. But things are never good for us. He was right. That day was too good to be true. But Harry. He's so different now and we almost made such a terrible mistake then. That time with Harry was so different from that time with Ron. Harry was an escape. It was emotionless and sick. Ron made me feel so happy and safe and amazing. But now I can never let him know how I really feel.' _Hermione sighed. She couldn't help remembering a certain Muggle song she heard over the past summer.

"_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do"_

She wanted so much to be able to tell Ron how she felt. Now it was too late and too much has changed. If only she didn't make out with Harry, they probably could have still worked it out. Everything was so perfect that day and but it just had to end badly. It just had to hurt. Hermione glanced over at the clock. It was 2:13. Hermione rolled over in her bed, frustrated.

Like Ginny, Hermione cried herself to sleep, thinking of the person she wanted.

But someone else was thinking about the person they wanted too.

All the way across Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy was sitting up; awake in his bedroom all the way in the Slytherin dorms, his mind going wild with thoughts of Hermione Granger. _'I can't like that… filthy Mudblood. That stupid whore is just a know-it-all Muggle-born who hangs out with Weasel and Potty. She's… not for me. She wouldn't deserve me.' _He suddenly grinned, an image of Hermione joining him in his bed right now filled his mind.

'_Although… she is feisty… Who am I kidding? She's out of Weasel's and Potter's league.'_ Malfoy shook his head. _'No. Those Muggle-lovers should be in the same class as all Mudbloods. Besides, it's Granger.'_ Malfoy sighed. _'No. She's… different. Even if she's a Mudblood, well… that just doesn't matter. She doesn't look it. She keeps resisting me, when the way she felt earlier… her lips… her… body…'_

Malfoy shifted positions in his bed, a giddy smile on his face. _'Stop it. She doesn't want you. She just wants that poor filthy Weasel. He came to her rescue, always having to save her… See? Mudblood…'_ The smile faded of his face. _'She's going to be with me. But how can I get her to myself? Weasel… If he loves her so much, what we he do if he had to choose between her and… his sister?'_

A/N: Well, that's it. Read and review, so I know how y'all like it! More later!


	3. Girl Talk and Awkward Talk

Hey! Here's chapter 3! Reviews please!

Chapter 3- Girl Talk and Awkward Talk

Harry woke up staring at the solid wood floor only 2 inches from his eyes, his nose sore from being squished against it for half of the night. Harry stood up confused. _'What happened last night? Why am I on the floor?_' He turned around to see Ron staring at him with a smirk on his face, sitting on his bed.

"Good morning… mate." Ron sniggered.

"Wha—What happened?" Harry asked.

"Well… You had a nightmare. Again." Ron said truthfully.

"Again?"

"Well, yeah. I'm surprised your nose isn't broken. I'm surprised you didn't even wake up after falling out of your bed. Blimey, that 'thud' woke me up." Ron yawned. _'Maybe—hopefully, that fall did something to his head.'_

"Oh." Harry rubbed his head and started towards the door.

"You dreaming about Sirius, Harry?"

"What?" Harry said, his voice a little higher.

"You were… shouting his name, you know, in your sleep."

"Oh." Moments passed and they said nothing, but stared at the floor.

"You… you ok, Harry?" Ron asked concerned.

"Yeah, Ron. I'm just great." Harry walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.

In the girls' dorm, Ginny woke up, staring at the ceiling. She smiled, thinking of Harry's deep green eyes looking so intensely at her, like he knew what she was thinking, last night in the common room. She still couldn't believe it had happened. _'If only I was sure that it actually meant something to him.'_

"Hey Hermione!" Ginny called quietly. "You up?"

Hermione rolled over in her bed.

"No." She said.

Everything that happened the night before came flooding back into her mind. Malfoy kissing her furiously, keeping her pinned against the wall. Ron standing there watching, furious and sad at the same time. The two of them fighting afterwards. Lying in bed, reliving the one moment at the beginning of the year when things were so perfect—and so heated—between Ron and her. And then the same day when they fought and she and Harry made out almost reaching 'the point of no return' because of the pain they felt.

Crying herself to sleep, feeling she would never be free of all of this pain and longing, because there was no escaping her feelings for Ron and no getting him back.

Hermione rolled over on her side, facing away from Ginny who was watching her concerned. She felt sick to her stomach. _'How could being kissed by Malfoy bring back all of this… crap back?'_

"Hermione?" Ginny asked, getting out of her bed and walking over to Hermione's. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Gin. I'm alright."

"Where were you last night?" Ginny sat down on the foot of Hermione's bed. "I heard you coming in late."

"Oh, nowhere. Just out."

"Out? Out with who?" Ginny paused. "Out with… Ron?"

Hermione sat up in bed and hugged her knees. She looked long at Ginny, and then focused hard on a tree outside her window, feeling the tears would start falling any minute.

"No Ginny. Nothing happened between me and Ron, since… the time you saw us together." She paused. "That was the first time, the last time, and the only time, we've ever…" She buried her face in her knees.

"Oh Hermione… Why didn't you tell me? I'm… sorry." Ginny apologized. "What happened?"

'_We fought, and then I made out with the guy you're in love with. Yeah, it was a mistake. And yeah, I didn't even enjoy it… It made me miserable and only want Ron more.'_ Hermione thought.

"Nothing. We just… we got into a fight… and it's… That day was just… too good to be true. It was so amazing, but now… I can't ever get that back." Hermione shrugged and shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Hermione… I'm sorry. You know Ron. He's just determined that nothing good could possibly happen to him… His whole life he was always over-shadowed by Fred and George and Percy and everyone else. And now his best friend is known by the whole Wizarding world. He just freaks when something good happens to him, because he thinks it'll have to be taken away and that will hurt. He'll push everything and everyone great away before he can enjoy it, because the longer he has it to enjoy it, the more it will hurt later on." Ginny sighed. "He loves you, Hermione. I know he does."

Tears rolled down Hermione cheeks and she quickly wiped them off. _'If he loves me, then… why does everything between us have to be taken away and have to hurt so much? Why does he have to be afraid of everything that he loves being taken away from him? Things will never work out.'_

"Well…" she said. "I don't want to talk about it, Ginny."

"Ok." Ginny paused, pretending she didn't notice that Hermione was crying, because Hermione obviously hated it. "Well, where were you last night then, Hermione?"

"I went out walking in the corridors." Hermione said after a while.

"By yourself?" Ginny asked.

"At first, yeah. But then I ran into Malfoy."

"Malfoy?"

"Yeah. Ginny, Malfoy kissed me." Hermione told her.

"What?" Ginny exclaimed.

"He did. He… he pinned me against the wall and… he shoved his tongue in my mouth… and I tried fighting him and pushing him away, but… he was too strong. I couldn't."

"Why would Malfoy…? He hates you!"

"I have no idea. I mean, he's been with every girl in Slytherin, and some girls in Ravenclaw and even a few in Hufflepuff, but not one Gryffindor. And me? You know what he calls me."

"Yeah, I know. Well, what happened?"

"He kept groping me Ginny!" Hermione got up and started pacing the room anxiously. "He… he put his hand up my shirt." Tears started streaming down her face.

"Hermione, oh my god!" Ginny got up and stood next to her. "Are you ok?"

"It was disgusting! Ginny, to be used like that! I can't believe him, he's such a bastard!" Hermione shouted.

"No, he's a sick bastard!"

"Yeah, I mean, what kind of guy—what kind of pervert—would use a girl for… for sex?"

Ginny got quiet. _'Harry can't be like that… But was he just using me for sex? That's awful! Harry couldn't be like that.'_

"No, Ginny. He didn't… rape me." Hermione said quietly, noticing Ginny looked worried.

"Oh!" Ginny snapped out of her reverie. "Well, how did you make him stop?"

Now Hermione got quiet. _'Ron. He saw us. The look on his face… There I go again, hurting him... But then he saved me from Malfoy.'_ Hermione blushed.

"Well, Ron walked in on it." She whispered.

"I see." Ginny said.

"He was furious, Ginny. And he was crushed." Hermione said, crying again. "Then Malfoy threatened him and—"

"What? What did he say?"

"No, it was nothing, just some pathetic comment about 'his father'. Then Ron just hexed him and he got off me." Hermione sighed. "It was a good hex. Malfoy laughing like crazy…" Hermione smiled, thinking of Ron yelling at Malfoy, extremely angry. He seemed so determined… And strong, like a guard dog, passionately and proudly defending his master. It was strangely sexy, the way Ron was so serious and tough and masculine, trying to protect and rescue her, like it was his calling in life.

And Ron felt that it was, though Hermione didn't know that.

"Um, Hermione?"

"Oh. Yeah?" Hermione answered quickly, with fierce, amused, and happy grin on her face that wouldn't go away and cheeks that were burning red.

Ginny laughed to herself.

"So what did _you_ do yesterday?" Hermione asked after a while, a slightly curious tone in her voice.

"Um, nothing really…" Ginny said, looking away from Hermione.

"Ginny, you can tell me."

'_Alright, I'll tell her, but I can't let her know that he could have been using me… just like Malfoy was." _Ginny thought.

"Ok. I was with Harry." Ginny beamed.

"What?" Hermione asked, alarmed.

"In the common room, Harry and I… Well, we had sex." Ginny blurted out.

Hermione stood there, her mouth open in shock.

"Hermione?"

"Ginny… Wow."

"I know."

"Ginny… Are you… ok? I mean, that was your first time, right? And Harry, was he… good about it?" Hermione asked, not sure how to warn Ginny about how Harry was acting.

"Well, yeah, it was my first, but it was Harry." She said. "So I'm fine." Ginny lied.

"Ginny." Hermione started, trying to take this in. "You can't do this! Harry's been… really odd lately! He's—he's been all over other girls, even me, and he's just a little _destructive_!"

"Hermione!" Ginny yelled angrily. "You don't know what you're talking about! Harry wouldn't do… what Draco did! He wouldn't! You know he wouldn't! You're just jealous because you've never had sex yet!"

"I'm not jealous, Ginny! Maybe I haven't had sex yet… but I'm telling the truth about Harry—just be careful! You never—"

"Oh fine. You're just jealous, because I'm happy and am finally with Harry after all these years, but you're not happy! You're alone with nobody and you're in love with Ron, but you can't be with him!" Ginny screamed.

Hermione was silent. She sat down on her bed against the headboard and closed her eyes, feeling both like she was hit over the head with a broomstick and numb at the same time.

"Wow, Ginny. That's… a lot to swallow."

"Oh Hermione. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. I didn't know… I—Hermione, you're right. And I'm just afraid. I'm afraid to think Harry would be using me. I mean, I thought he wouldn't—" Ginny stuttered.

"He wouldn't Ginny. He wouldn't have done that… before Sirius died. He wouldn't have done it before he heard the prophecy. Before he realized most of our lives could end if he doesn't defeat Voldemort." Hermione said quietly.

"I know. I'm so sorry Hermione." Ginny sat down next to her on the bed.

"Yeah. Harry just needs to get over Sirius. He's still being tortured by his death and he doesn't know how to let go!" Hermione explained.

"But how could he get over him? And how will he… how will he still like me if he does get over Sirius?"

"You. You could help him get over Sirius. I don't know how, just talk with him."

"Ok. And Hermione?" Ginny said, getting up from the bed.

"Yeah?" Hermione asked getting up and getting dressed and ready to go for breakfast.

"Don't tell Ron."

"What?"

"Don't tell Ron about Harry and me. He'll be furious. He would just hate it. So promise you won't?" Ginny asked.

Hermione thought from a moment.

"Well, what if he asks me about it?"

"Just don't tell him. Tell him you don't know about us. Please. He's too over-protective of me. I don't want him worrying about me when I can take care of myself."

"Alright I won't. But I hope you would tell him. At least when you feel better about Harry and Harry and Ron are on better terms tell him. He deserves to know. He really cares about you." Hermione said sadly.

"Thanks for not telling him, Hermione." Ginny paused, "You know, Ron really cares about you too."

"Yeah, well…"

"Hermione, you and Ron… I think you two are just meant for each other." Ginny admitted.

"What?" Hermione asked, smoothing out her hair and brushing it.

"You are. I know it. So don't worry about it, ok?"

"That's a little easier said then done, Gin. I—I can't stop thinking about him. I love him." Hermione sighed.

"I know you do." Ginny smiled and her and Hermione went down to the common room.

"Ginny, hey!" Harry greeted her from the couch.

"Oh, hi Harry." Ginny said, glancing at Hermione nervously.

"I'm going to go down to breakfast now, so I'll see you two later." Hermione hurried out through the portrait to leave them alone.

"Well, if it isn't my little sister and my best friend?" Ron said sleepily, coming down the stairs from their dorm.

Ginny and Harry looked around nervously.

"What have you too been up to, lately?" Ron asked, looking suspiciously at them.

A/N: Well, there it is! Sorry, if some of it was a little fluff, things needed to be sorted out! It'll be better. PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Everyone Loves 'ermione

Hey y'all!

Yeah, I hope you all had a nice Easter! Mine was fun, been very busy though. Reviews, please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I have come to terms with the fact that I don't own Ron. It's been very hard, cause I love him! But hopefully I can get over it if the 7th book/5th movie comes out sooner!

Ch 4: Everybody Loves 'ermione

Hermione slipped out of the portrait hole, glancing back just in time to see Ron come entering both the Common Room and a very awkward situation. She sighed, thinking about what Ginny told her. _'We're meant for each other.'_ She thought, smiling slightly. _'Great. Now what? Ron is too afraid of getting hurt to be with me.'_ Hermione sighed, partly wanting to talk with Ron about everything and let him know that she loved him and they could be together without getting hurt—even is she herself was afraid that wasn't true—and partly wanting to smack him for being afraid in the first place. _'Why can't at least one of us not be afraid of love? Can't he be the strong one? I certainly can't be.'_

Hermione walked turned the corner right before the entrance of the Great Hall, when suddenly she collided with someone who seemed to have something distracting on his mind.

"Watcher--!" Hermione shouted and then looked up to see Malfoy's smug obnoxious face smirking back at her. "Malfoy." Hermione sighed and turned to walk around him.

"Wait!" Malfoy said, grabbing her arm.

"You're disgusting." Hermione snapped.

"No, Hermione, don't do this. About the other day—"

"About the other day? How could you dare bring up the other day? You kissed me and practically snogged me against the wall." Hermione added quietly.

"Hermione, I didn't mean to hurt you!" Malfoy cried, looking somewhat desperate.

"What?" Hermione asked, surprised. Malfoy not wanting to hurt her? "You've gone insane." Hermione said, a look of complete shock and confusion and disgust filled her face.

"No, honestly, 'ermione, I didn't!" He shouted.

Hermione stopped.

"What did you just call me?"

"Hermione."

"No, you didn't." Hermione said, millions of crazed thoughts running around her mind. _'What the hell! Who does he think he is? What is he doing, he isn't acting like himself at all. This is totally out of character for him! I'm nothing but a 'filthy Mudblood' to him!' _And the thoughts rambled on. But there was one thought that scared her more then the others. _'He just called me 'ermione. That's what Ron calls me. Ron is the only person who ever calls me 'ermione. He can't be doing this. What the bloody hell is wrong with him?'_

"You just called me… 'ermione." She said quietly.

"Oh. I guess I did." Draco Malfoy said quietly, looking at the floor.

"You sick bastard." Hermione said coldly, with every fiber inside of her raging with hate and fear.

"No." Malfoy said, looking confused as to why she was getting so upset that he called her "'ermione". "Listen, I care about—"

"Malfoy, I would think twice if I were you, because you have an audience." Hermione said quickly.

A small group of Slytherins was gathered nearby watching them.

Malfoy looked up at them, embarrassed.

"You pathetic Mudblood! Stay away from me, you whore!" Malfoy spat.

----

"What have you too been up to, lately?" Ron asked, looking suspiciously at them.

"Oh nothing." Ginny said very quickly.

"Really?" Ron asked casually. "What did you do yesterday? Or last night? How about you Harry?"

'_He knows. But how?'_ Harry thought. He looked at Ginny, who was nervously staring at the ground, looking miserable and humiliated. _'I can't let him find out. Yesterday was great, and it probably made Ginny feel… well, amazing. It's obvious that she still likes me. If Ron finds out, he'll hate me. Not only that, but he'll make Ginny feel bad about it. Why did I do this? Ginny is his little sister. Of course he would be protective of her.'_

"Ron, I went out to the Owlery to send a letter to… the Order." Harry lied. He had almost said 'to Sirius', but as soon as he thought of it, he remembered… _'Sirius is dead.'_ A foul taste came up in his mouth and a bitter, sour feeling came into his stomach. Anger. _'How disgusting is it. Sirius died. He was killed. In this bloody war. Muggles hardly have to deal with death at all.'_ Harry thought furiously, knowing it wasn't true. The feeling came back again, as fresh as ever, as if it was brand new, and Sirius had died yesterday. Harry wanted to punch someone. He wanted to yell. Scream that his godfather was dead and it was everyone's fault he was dead. Scream that it was Dumbledore's fault for having Sirius stay locked up in Grimmauld Place for so long. Scream that it was Ron's fault. Or Hermione's or Ginny's. Or even Kingsley Shacklebolt's fault. Bellatrix Lestrange really murdered him. Either by Avada Kedavra or by pushing him into the veil—either way, Harry wished he could kill her for it. But who Harry really blamed was himself. If he hadn't believed Voldemort already had him there…

"But right now, Ron, I have to go." Harry said quickly, feeling the anger starting to resurface inside of him. "I'll see you guys later."

Harry walked off out of the portrait hole leaving Ginny standing there in shock. She could tell Harry was mad about something. She could tell he was hurt.

"Ron I gotta go." Ginny said, and rushed off after Harry.

"Bloody hell." Ron cursed and sauntered off to go to breakfast.

----

Ron was turning down the corridor when he noticed a crowd of students surrounding two people.

"'ermione!" Ron shouted, breaking through the crowd to find a harassed and shaken looking Hermione and a nervous, yet angry looking Malfoy.

Hermione's cheeks burned red when she heard the only familiar protective voice she wanted to hear call her "'ermione" calling her name.

"Get out of here!" Ron ordered the group of people, completely outraged. Reluctantly and slowly they walked away.

Hermione stared at the ground unable to look at Ron. She looked up at Malfoy who was still standing there confused.

"Why did you call me that?" Hermione asked him again bitterly, a few tears rolling escaping down her cheeks, trying hard to ignore Ron watching her intensely.

Malfoy understood what she meant now, after Ron came in calling her the same name.

"I don't know." He said, and without looking at anyone, he walked away.

Hermione stood still unable to look at Ron, feeling he was right next to her, feeling almost as confused and mad as she was. Tears streamed down her face and there was no stopping them.

"'ermione." Ron said, taking a step closer to her defeated body. "What happened? What did he do to you?"

Hermione shook her head.

"What did he call you, Hermione?" Ron asked, his voice getting louder.

"Nothing, Ron. It's just, he called me—"

"He didn't call you a… Mudblood again, did he?"

"No Ron. Well, yes, he did, but that's—"

"I'm gonna kill him! That horrible git… How dare he call you that! I'm going to go find him and rip his head off!" Ron shouted furiously.

Hermione smiled slightly. It felt so good to hear him do that. To hear him get all angry and protective just over her. It was one of the things she loved most about him: He was always so loyal and protective of the ones he loved and he would do anything in his power to prevent them getting hurt.

"No Ron, it's fine." Hermione said quietly.

"No, Hermione, you don't have to worry about it. He hurt you, 'ermione!" Ron said turning and looking her in the eyes, causing Hermione's heart to skip a beat. Ron put his strong masculine arm around her and suddenly pulled her into a hug, catching them both off guard.

"Ron." Hermione whispered in his ear, sending chills up his spine. Hermione pulled away. "Why do you always call me "'ermione"?"

Ron looked intensely at her for a moment, considering the question.

"You're the only person who calls me that, Ron." She said.

"I don't know." Ron shrugged. "Why? Do you want me to stop?" he added nervously.

"No!" Hermione said immediately. "I just was wondering why you did it."

'_Because it's kind of like my own little name for you. You're Hermione to the rest of the world, but to me, you are the world. To me, you're my 'ermione. I call you that, because I love you and this is my way of letting you know, even if you never realize it.'_ Ron thought to himself.

"I call you 'ermione…" Ron said, taking a deep breath. "Because I… well, because I care about you."

Ron stared hard at the ground, feeling his cheeks glow red and hoping he could die.

Hermione's heart started racing. That was everything she needed to hear from him. _'He loves me.'_ She thought, a big smile coming upon her face. Then it disappeared. _'But that still doesn't solve all of my problems.'_

"Well, I guess I'm going to go to breakfast." Ron said sadly, walking away from her.

'_Great. Here's another problem for you. You're hurting him.'_ Hermione sighed and followed him.

"Wait, Ron."

Ron stopped and looked at her.

Hermione's head raced with things she could say. _'I care about you too, Ron. In fact, I think I'm in love with you.'_ But how dumb would that sound? But it was the truth.

"I care—I mean, I like it when you call me 'ermione." She said, chickening out. "I love it, Ron. And I want to hear only you call me that. For the rest of my life." She blurted out it before she even realized she was saying it.

Ron grinned nervously. He nodded. His face was so much redder then his hair, it was crazy.

"You're sure you're ok… 'ermione?" he said after a moment.

Hermione shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Come on." Ron said after a while. "Let's go to breakfast." He said, taking her hand and walking into the great hall.

As Ron and Hermione made their entrance, hand in hand, and sat down at their Gryffindor table, Malfoy was watching them, at the end of the Slytherin's table.

'_Pathetic git. Why does stupid Ron have to always come to her rescue? I can't believe she… she likes him. I guess I'm just going to have to make him choose.'_ Malfoy thought. He got up angrily and stormed out of the Great Hall.

----

"Harry wait!" Ginny called, running after a furious Harry. Harry stopped and looked at her.

"What Ginny?"

"What's the matter Harry? I can tell something is bothering you." She said, catching up with him.

"It's nothing, Ginny. You wouldn't understand." He said, bitterly.

"Try me." Ginny said fiercely.

Harry wouldn't look at her.

"It's Sirius, Harry. Isn't it?" she said, looking him straight in the eye. He nodded.

"Yes. But you wouldn't understand."

"Oh. I think you're wrong."

Harry stared at her surprised. _'Since when was Ginny ever this… confident? Or talkative? Or… she's not giving in, is she?'_

'I'm going to fight for him. I'm not going to let him go. I'm going to let him hurt me. And I am not going to let him hurt himself.' Ginny thought, completely determined. 

"You still miss Sirius. And you think it's everyone's fault that he's dead. I can only imagine Harry, but this makes perfect sense to me." She said simply.

He looked at her, like he was seeing her for the first time. When trying to help him with his 'grief', no one has ever been this firm. They've all been careful and telling him was right to feel that way, because they didn't want him to get angry or feel any worse. But they were all wrong. No one was this 'to-the-point'.

"Harry, I know this sucks. This probably hurts more then anything else in the world you ever felt. Sure, you lost your parents and that was most likely worse, but you were too young to feel anything then. I know that hurts now, but you had to see Sirius go yourself." Ginny said. "Harry, it's going to have to get worse, before it can get better." She looked him in the eyes. "I'm here for you though." She slowly put a hand on his wrists that were crossed over his chest.

"Ginny…" Harry said.

"Harry, no. I know I don't know how you feel, but I'm trying really hard to imagine it. You may be blaming everyone… on the outside… and I'm sure you would love to murder Bellatrix Lestrange… but, the one person you shouldn't be blaming is yourself, Harry." She said. "Now I'm going to go for breakfast. I'll see you later."

She walked off leaving Harry in complete shock.

----

"Ron, are you going to eat anything?" Hermione asked.

Ron had dished nothing onto his plate, and instead decided to stare at it.

"I don't know."

"Ron, when have you ever… well, not eaten half of what the house elves prepared?"

"I don't know."

"What's the matter Ron?" Hermione sighed, taking a long drink from her pumpkin juice.

"it's just… Harry and Ginny." Ron said.

Hermione spit out her pumpkin juice in shock and starting coughing continuously.

"What?" she asked, once she regained control of herself.

"Well, I can't help thinking that there's something going on between them." Ron said, not noticing Hermione's accident.

"Well, um, I know Harry's been having a lot of trouble dealing with… you know… Sirius still. That's probably why he's been acting really foul lately." Hermione said.

"Really?" Ron asked.

"Yes! I think he just needs a little help getting over him. Ginny's probably helping him." Hermione said.

"Do you… know it anything else has been going on?" Ron asked.

"What? Why do you say that?" Hermione asked, feeling a little nervous and guilty. She had already promised Ginny she wouldn't say anything. But she loved Ron. And if he knew Harry had slept with his little sister… Well, there'd be hell to pay.

"I don't know. I… yesterday, I think I might have walked in on them… kissing… on the sofa in the Common Room. I mean, I thought it was them, but I could be wrong, you know." Ron said, playing with his fork.

'_Ok, well, Ron already sort of knows. So if I told him, I wouldn't be telling him. Technically, I would only be… confirming it. Since he kind of already knows. Awww… Screw this. It still would be breaking my promise!'_ Hermione thought, shifting in her chair.

"Right."

"So do you know anything?" Ron asked, looking up at her. "Has Ginny said anything to you about them?"

'_Bloody hell, she has.'_

"Umm… You know, I don't know, Ron." Hermione said, feeling terrible. "I don't think so."

"Ok. But if Ginny would say something… You would tell me right?" Ron asked her, looking for reassurance.

"Of course." Hermione said immediately. Now she was in trouble. _'Well, all I have to do is convince Ginny to let me tell him and then pretend I just found out… Right. Good luck with that one.'_ "Ron, why don't we go find them now? I mean, I'll look for Ginny and you look for Harry." _'This way, I can work on convincing her faster.'_

"Alright. That's a good idea, 'ermione." Ron said, putting his hand over hers.

Hermione's stomach went into knots. This time it was from guilt.

"Thanks, Ron. Let's go." Hermione said, getting up from the table and walking off as quickly as she could.

She headed for the Common Room taking a short cut. Finally, She reached the Portrait Hole, and said, "Glumbumble", the password and walked inside.

"Oh hello, Hermione." Harry said, sitting on a chair next to a roaring fire in the fireplace.

"Oh. Hi Harry." Hermione said, a little disappointed it was him and not Ginny.

"Read the 'Prophet' lately?" Harry asked glumly.

"No. I haven't." Hermione said, sitting down on a sofa across from him.

"Well, some more Death Eaters are out of Azkaban."

"Oh. That's awful, Harry." Hermione said.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Harry, are you alright?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "If you need to talk—"

"I've got Ginny to talk to Hermione, but thanks anyway."

"Oh." Hermione answered surprised. _'Ginny sure made progress quickly.'_ "That's great, Harry."

"Yeah, it is." Harry said staring into the fire.

----

Ginny headed towards the Great Hall staring at the ground. _'Where's Hermione been? I hope she hasn't told Ron about Harry and me. But from the looks of it, he already knows.'_

"Well, if it isn't Ginny. Read a good hand-me-down diary lately?" Malfoy taunted her, interrupting her thoughts.

"Piss off, Malfoy." Ginny snapped.

"Oh, now that's not a very nice thing to say to me. After all, we're going to be spending a lot more time together soon."

"What?"

Malfoy just grinned.

"You're mental." Ginny said, trying to side step around him. Malfoy grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Don't call me that." Draco said, leaning close to her.

Ginny backed away from him.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asked.

"I'm just trying to get to know you, honey, seeing as though you're going to see a lot of just me for a long time." He said pulling her body against his and holding her face just inches from his.

"Malfoy, stop it! What the hell—" Ginny said, struggling furiously to push him away from her. "You horrible bastard! After what you did to Hermione--stop it!" Ginny pulled away and whipped out her wand.

"Petrificus totalus!" Ginny shouted.

But with a lazy flick of his wand, Malfoy wordlessly blocked the curse and Ginny's wand flew into his hand.

"You're rather feisty when you're angry, aren't you? Reminds me of Hermione in our 3rd year when she punched me. That was _extremely_ intriguing." Malfoy smirked pulling her against him again. "Now, where were we?"

"You're sick!" Ginny screamed.

Malfoy learned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Ginny tried pushing him away and punching him in the stomach, but he wouldn't let go. As she felt his unwanted lips against hers, she got an idea.

Malfoy kissed her deeper and as hard as she could, she bit his bottom lip.

"Aw… Bloody hell, you Muggle-lover!" Malfoy screamed, backing away and holding a very bloody lip. He rushed towards her and pushed her hard against the wall.

"Stop it!" Ginny screamed.

"GET THE BLOODY HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Ron roared at the end of the hall.

Ginny thought she could even see steam coming out of his ears.

"Ron!" she shouted.

"Care to join the party, Weasel? Well, you're not invited." Malfoy said, holding up both Ginny's and his wands.

Ron held up his wand, but before he could do anything, Ginny kneed Malfoy in the "painful area".

"Oh my god!" Malfoy screamed.

"Leave my sister alone! You know, why don't you stop hurting all of the people I love?" Ron yelled running up to Malfoy and grabbing Ginny's wand.

"The people you love?" Malfoy asked. "So that's it. You love Granger?"

"I… what?"

"You said the "people you love". So you mean you love… "'ermione"." Malfoy smirked.

"Why'd you call her that?" Ron yelled. "What are you playing at?"

"Ron!" Ginny yelled.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Ron shouted, furiously.

"You do love her then." Malfoy said calmly.

"I—"

"Ron, you don't have to answer to him!" Ginny shouted.

"No, Gin. I do." Ron said, and then turned to Malfoy. "I love her. And I wish you would leave her the hell alone!" Ron yelled. He walked over to Ginny. "Come on, Ginny. Let's go."

Ron and Ginny turned their backs on Malfoy and walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room, praying that their lives couldn't get any worse.

A/N: Well, that's it! I'll be posting Ch 5 as soon as I can! PLEASE REVIEW! I need to know what you all think!

Muchos Amor!


	5. Spilling the Beans Pickin Up the Slack

Hey everyone!

Well, here's chapter 5! Read and enjoy and REVIEW PLEASE!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter… poop.

Ch 5: Spilling the Beans and Picking Up the Slack

"Well, Harry, I'm going to go out for a walk then." Hermione said, hoping to excuse herself so she could go somewhere to think. _'How come Ginny's able to make all this progress and be having a grand old time with Harry, while **I'm** the one struggling to keep **their** secret. I'm the one who has to feel guilty every time I see Ron instead of only feeling... the same old constant pain. I shouldn't be responsible for lying to Ron for her. I shouldn't be the one hurting him.' _Hermione thought, walking towards the portrait hole.

As soon as Hermione reached the portrait hole, the portrait swung open revealing Ron on the other side.

Hermione looked up at him surprised, her heart racing furiously as he looked worriedly at her.

'_God, she's so beautiful. I hate how I can't seem to let her in—or let her know how I really feel about her—but yet I feel like I have to protect her from anyone who comes slightly close to her. I couldn't even imagine what I would do if something happened to her…' _Ron thought, cursing Malfoy silently.

Hermione looked him up and down. _'What happened? Why is he so angry? Did he find out that I knew…'_ But the look on his face wasn't really anger. It expressed all of his love for her and seemed to be saying, 'I'm going to love you and protect you no matter what. I won't let anyone hurt you as long as I'm alive to hurt them back.' Hermione smiled slightly, realizing that the fire and fury on his face was kind of a vow to protect her. She started breathing in deeply looking at the masculine bulge of muscle on his forearms, due to his clenched fists. _'How is it that his devotion and protectiveness and… passion… is so sexy?'_

Ron stepped through the portrait and stepped a little closer to Hermione until he was slightly towering over her, their bodies just inches apart.

They stood there, Hermione closing her eyes when she felt Ron's soft breath against her cheek, lost in each other, until Ginny cleared her throat loudly behind him.

They stepped apart quickly and looked around nervously. Ginny wore the same smug grin on her face that she wore many months ago.

Hermione blushed and went to step around Ron to leave mumbling something like, "Going to get some air" under her breath. Ron grabbed her arm, making her face him.

"Wait, 'ermione." He said softly. "I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Oh, um, ok Ron." Hermione said, as if she was deep in thought and abruptly interrupted. "Let's go step outside, then."

"No, um, let's go upstairs." Ron said, receiving quizzical, but highly amused looks from Ginny and Harry. "Just for a moment." He added, tossing Ginny a look saying, "stop thinking like that!"

Ron and Hermione quickly escaped upstairs to his dorm.

"Well…" Harry said after a while, as they noticed they were left alone.

"They are totally in love." Ginny said laughing slightly.

"You think?" Harry asked her.

"No. I know." Ginny said. They were silent for a moment. "And I also know that they're probably making out up there."

"Really?" Harry asked, kind of surprised. How had he missed all of this?

"Yeah."

"When did all of this start up?" Harry asked.

"Ummm… Well, nothing really happened before today… since fall."

"Oh." Harry said. _'Nothing had happened since fall… because of me. They got in a fight and then… well, me and Hermione almost made a horrible mistake.'_ Harry thought. '_They're in love… They've been in love for such a long time and it all got screwed up because of me.'_

"Harry." Ginny started. "Did last night mean anything to you?"

Harry looked at her. _'I should just tell her the truth.'_

"Well, at first… it didn't. But now, now that you've… I know you understand me… now that we're spending more time together, I know I'm getting involved with something… great." Harry stopped, seeing the stressed look on her face. "Yesterday was just so unexpected and I didn't really think much of it, but now… Ginny I really really like you."

"You do?"

"Ginny, yes! When you said… those things earlier… about Sirius, I started realizing you were right. In fact, you were so right, I was even thinking the same thing you said earlier today. And I… I want to be with you because you understand me and you're the only one who's been tough with me." Harry said, slightly laughing. He looked at her.

"Harry… thank you." Ginny said.

Harry nodded.

"Harry, earlier when I was out in the school, Malfoy… he kissed me." Ginny said.

"What?" Harry said sounding alarmed.

"He did that to Hermione too. The other day he was forcing her to and hurting her and he… he groped her and then Ron came and just hexed Malfoy, but Harry, he did the same thing to me today."

"What? Are you all right? Did he hurt you, Ginny?" Harry asked squeezing her hand.

"Yes, I'm fine, Harry."

"You sure?"

"Yes." Ginny smiled, happy that he was so concerned.

"And Hermione's all right too, right?"

"Yes. I think so."

"Why is Malfoy doing this? He hates us and you and Hermione. This doesn't make any sense!"

"I know it doesn't."

"And you're sure you're all right?"

Ginny nodded.

Harry looked into her eyes and leaned closer to her. Ginny held his face with her hand and pulled him closer to her, bringing his lips onto hers.

/\/\/\

"What is it?" Hermione asked upstairs in Ron's room.

"Malfoy." Ron said.

"What about him? What happened?"

"The same thing he did to you… He just did it to Ginny."

"What? Is she all right? What happened?" Hermione asked surprised.

"He was kissing her and then she tried to hex him and he took her wand and then I came in…"

Hermione smiled. Ron came in and fought him off. There he was again, saving and protecting everyone he cared for from harm. And there she was, lying to him.

"Hermione?" Ron asked, noticing she looked upset.

"Yeah?"

"What did Malfoy do to you earlier… when I found you guys by the Great Hall?" Ron asked looking worried. _'I'm tired of Malfoy being a git. Why does he have to hurt my sister and hurt my… and hurt Hermione?'_

"Well… Malfoy did call me a Mudblood again, Ron." She said. "but that wasn't what bothered me."

"Well, what did?" Ron asked, walking over to her quickly and putting his big warm hand on her slightly shaking shoulder.

She looked up at him.

"He called me… Well, Ron, he called me 'ermione." Hermione said, sitting down on his bed.

"Oh." Ron said, his throat tightening a little.

"Yeah. That kind of caught me off guard. Seeing as though you are the only person who calls me that. And well, if you call me that because you… you care about me, I was wondering if Malfoy was starting to… you know."

Ron looked up at her slowly.

"What? That's impossible! He's always being such a git… Well, he still is a git, but…"

"Ron, that would explain the other day." Hermione said, feeling completely miserable.

"That sick bastard! Hermione, if he hurts you…" Ron said, shaking his fists.

"Ron, he won't hurt me!" Hermione shouted.

"What?"

"He can't hurt me Ron. I just know that he can't." Hermione said.

"How come? Hermione, you don't know what Malfoy's capable of—"

"He can't hurt me, Ron, because of you." Hermione said, looking at the floor nervously. She knew what she wanted to say, but for some reason, it was hard. _'Ron will always protect me. He loves me and he's too good to me. I don't deserve him one bit. I'm only going to hurt him. Everything with Harry… Lying for Ginny… Here I am sitting right in front of him, knowing Ginny is with Harry and not telling him, even though I promised him I would. I can't do this to him.'_

"Because of me?" Ron asked, walking over to his bed and sitting next to her.

"Ron, you always protect the people you love most. You always defend them and you're constantly loyal to them. The people that you love." Hermione looked up at him, and saw he understood what she was meaning to say. "I know you wouldn't ever let Malfoy—or anyone—ever hurt me… because you love me."

Ron was silent.

"Yes."

"You love me?" Hermione asked with a sound of hopefulness in her voice.

"I love you… 'ermione." Ron said, with every feeling and compassion he had for her in his heart. Hermione smiled, one tear escaping her eye. "And I promise you that… well, that you were right just now. I promise that I will never let anyone hurt you… as long as I'm alive."

Another tear escaped her eye. _'He loves me.'_ She finally heard him say that he loved her and she couldn't have been happier. _'And I'm still lying to him and betraying him, but still taking this all in.'_ She couldn't have felt guiltier. _'But Ron will protect me from everything now. I shouldn't have to worry about Malfoy anymore. He may have promised me, but I knew he would protect me anyway.'_

"Ron… I love you too." Hermione said finally. "And I promise… that I will always love you, no matter what happens between us. Because honestly, no one could ever make me feel like you make me feel."

And there it was. To seal the most perfect moment.

They kissed. They kissed softly and carefully, as if both silently trying to keep their promises to each other. Ron carefully laid Hermione down on the bed holding her back with his strong hand. There they were, kissing on Ron's bed.

But Hermione couldn't help but think of Ron's bedroom back at the Burrow. How could she have done that? She kissed Harry in Ron's very own bedroom. And now she was here kissing him, not only hiding… that meaningless time with Harry, but also the secret about Ginny and Harry that she promised Ron she would tell him.

Hermione pulled away from Ron.

"What?" Ron asked suddenly concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." Hermione said, trying to make herself smile. She sat up. "I have to say something."

"'ermione, don't worry about Malfoy. We're going to take care of everything." Ron said seriously.

"No, Ron. It's not that. I have something to tell you." Hermione said, taking a deep breath.

"What?"

"Ron, you know how you—" Hermione stopped, felling nervous and awkward. _'Way to ruin a perfect moment' _Hermione thought. _'Well, say it.'_ A voice in her head said. _'No, it's not too late. If you tell him, everything will blow up in your face and in less then five minutes, Ron will be yelling at you and everything that just happened won't matter. Everything that just happened will hurt to remember.'_ Another voice said. _'No. You can't live with this. Besides, if everything stays as good as it is now, for even a few years, you can't keep hiding a secret like this.'_ The original voice pointed out. _'Well, you're never going to get this back. You were lucky once, but…'_ The second voice retorted. _'The longer you wait to tell him, the more it will hurt.'_ The first voice insisted. _'If you don't tell him, you may cry yourself to sleep tonight, but it will only be guilt. If you do tell him, you'll still cry yourself to sleep, but it'll be more painful.' _The second voice said. _'Bloody conscious! Why don't you both shut the hell up?'_ Hermione thought furiously.

"'ermione?" Ron asked, leaning over to put a loose strand of hair of hers in place, making her heart skip a beat.

"Ron, I—I can't do this to you. You know that I love you, right?" Hermione said, feeling like she just made a crappy start.

"Well, blimey, yeah. You did just tell me." Ron said, starting to get anxious. "What is it?"

"Ok." Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, remember this summer? When I came to the Burrow and you and I kissed and Ginny walked in and then we got into that—that ridiculous fight?"

"Well, yeah, how could I forget?" Ron said, smiling slightly.

'_There's no turning back now.'_ Hermione thought, knowing she had long passed the point of no return.

"Well, after wards—after I went inside crying—"

"I am really sorry about that." Ron said looking like he meant.

Hermione almost died. Ron wasn't making this any easier for her; by saying the sweetest things and making her feel even guiltier.

"Well," Hermione smiled nervously and blushed. "I went inside and—you remember how… devastated Harry still was about Sirius? Well, I mean, he still is upset, but it was a whole lot worse then, you know?" Hermione babbled on. "Well, I um, I kind of went upstairs into his room—"

"Well, it was my room, but he was sleeping there." Ron kindly pointed out.

"Yes, I know." Hermione said quickly, hoping to brush aside the fact that it was his room. She took a deep breath for the plunge and spit out the rest really quickly. "So, I went up to see him and me and him were talking and then we kind of made out."

Ron's jaw dropped. He closed his mouth and then turned away from her. _'So that was why Hermione was super weird around me for the longest time. Because she and Harry made out in—' _

"In my own bedroom?" Ron said slightly robotically. He wasn't yelling, but was still processing it all, and was too hurt to pick out just one emotion.

"Well, yes." Hermione said, quietly, tears already rolling down her cheeks. She wiped one off as it made its path down her neck.

Ron stood up and wiped his mouth off angrily.

"Hermione. We just—! You just—told me you loved me!" Ron stuttered.

"I do Ron!" Hermione shrieked. "I love you so much! More then anything in the whole world, Ron!"

"But you—" Ron looked at her dumbfounded. His face was bright red, and he opened his mouth slightly many times in attempt to say something, but no words came out.

"I love you Ron, and I just promised I always would! I always will! Ron, you have to believe me, I—" Here came the desperate pleading.

"Hermione, you made out with my best friend in my room right after we had our first kiss together! We had that moment and Hermione, I—" Ron shut his mouth, still at a loss for words. He looked like he was about to cry. He felt like he was too. But he couldn't let her see that.

"Ron, I was confused and hurt and upset! We just had that moment on the couch and it was amazing! I was floating on air, Ron! And you have no idea how many times I replayed that in my mind, or cried myself to sleep thinking of it, or how many times I desperately wanted to go back in time, even to experience it again!"

"Don't turn this around on me, Hermione!"

"I'm not, but Ron, that moment changed my life! After that moment, I only ever thought about us, about how awful I screwed up, how sorry I am it happened, how much I regret it, how what happened with me and Harry meant absolutely nothing and it was all out of pain, and how much I wanted you back!" Hermione walked towards Ron.

"Hermione, don't do this." Ron said seriously, backing away.

"I want you, Ron! I love you more then anything else on this crazy planet! And Ron I need you!" Hermione walked towards Ron, backing him against the wall. She kissed him hard on the lips, feeling his strong shoulders under her fingers and pulling him towards her. Another earth-shaking moment. The kiss quickly deepened and Ron pushed her away.

"No Hermione! Stop it!" Ron cried. "I can't take it when you do that!" He blurted out.

"Ron, you have to believe me though!" Hermione said, after catching her breathe. "I didn't plan on kissing Harry, just like we didn't plan on us that day! But trust me! There is no comparison between the two when it comes down to which one I would choose to repeat every day over and over again because it made me feel alive and loved and special and feel the greatest feeling I believe someone can feel!" Hermione cried, taking another cautious step towards him.

"Hermione, no!" Ron said, taking another step away from her.

"And there is certainly no comparison between which one I want to take back or prayed it never happened every single minute of every day! Or which one I regret more then anything, because it was the time between me and Harry!" Hermione chased after Ron and blocked the doorway. "Because it was the single worst moment and biggest mistake of my life! Every single day, Ron, I wanted to take it back! I still do!" Hermione said between sobs.

"Well you can't, Hermione!"

"I know I can't, Ron! I've had to realize that! I never wanted to hurt you Ron!"

"But you did, Hermione! YOU DID!" Ron yelled, trying to get past her to get to the door.

"I… I love you, Ron! More then anything! I promised you that!" Hermione said between sobs. "You have to believe that I love you… And that seeing you or hearing you or… feeling you… or that even the mention of your name makes my heart stop. Loving you makes me feel invincible and—and vulnerable, and amazing and whenever I'm around you I feel like I can't breathe! Do you believe that Ron? Because if you feel the same way about me, then you have to believe me! I need you, Ron, and you have to believe that!"

Ron stopped and looked into her eyes.

"I believe you… 'ermione." Ron whispered, leaning close to her and sending the same thrilling and unbearable chills up and down her spine. "I feel the same way about you. I need you Hermione and I'm still going to keep my promise… I probably will forever. I love you 'ermione, more then you could ever imagine." Ron gently wiped a tear off her face with his thumb.

They slowly leaned closer to each other and their lips carefully met.

The kiss deepened, and they held on to each other tightly, but after a moment, Ron pulled away with a fierce, but sad look in his eye.

"But we can't do this Hermione." He said.

"Why not Ron?" Hermione asked him quietly, holding his glance and determined to hold on to what they had.

Ron tore his glance away from her and turned around towards the door.

"Because… Because it hurts 'ermione." He looked at her with his hand on the knob. "Because any single moment we have together is… too good to be true. And we both know it. Every single… earth-shattering heart-stopping moment we have is like the greatest thing I could ever dream of, but it always leaves me—no, it always leaves US hurting." He turned the doorknob.

"No, Ron! Don't go. Don't run away again! Like last time." Hermione shouted. "Last time, you were too afraid that… that you would get hurt. So you ran. And where did it leave us? We're here, Ron. In this very moment. And you know what Ron? I'm still hurting!" She screamed at him, her face bright red and streaked with tears. "You can't run from pain Ron! If you didn't run last time, we both would be hurting a hell of a lot less! Because I wouldn't have been in your room at the Burrow with Harry! No… I would have been there with you!"

"You're blaming this all on me now?"

"No, Ron, I'm not meaning to. All I'm trying to say is that the more we try running from this bloody pain… the more pain we're gonna feel. Because when we think we're running from pain, we're really running from us. And I don't feel any pain when I'm with you." Hermione walked up to Ron and touched him lightly on his forearm.

Chills ran up his arm as she touched him.

"'ermione, I'm sorry." Ron shook his head and opened the door.

"Ron stop!" Hermione shouted as Ron walked down the stairs. "Why do you have to do this? I apologized! Is that what it's still about? You know I'm in love with you! Not ever him. You!" She screamed and followed him down the stairs.

Ron stormed down the stairs, not looking back at her.

"Ron! I don't know—" Hermione stopped. They reached the Common Room.

"Whoa!" A shirtless Harry yelled from the sofa… from on top of Ginny.

Ginny didn't look up at Ron. Ron was looking at them furiously with his mouth open. Hermione looked at Ginny nervously. She already let one major secret out today. Why not another?

"Get off her!" Ron yelled finally.

"Ron!" Ginny snapped immediately.

"What are you guys doing?" Ron asked, knowing the answer.

"Nothing, Ron—"

"No Ginny. Tell him the truth." Hermione said. Her voice was firm, but emotionless. She didn't really care if Ron flipped out at her. It couldn't make things any worse.

"Hermione! You said—" Ginny started to yell. Then she stopped when she looked up and saw Hermione's face covered with tears and her clothes disheveled. _'Things have obviously went good… at first… and then really awful. Just let this go, it won't help your situation or hers. Plus she looks like she's already been to hell and back; so don't send her on another trip. It won't help to get mad at anyone. But then what happened?'_ Ginny looked at Hermione. She was looking expectant. Like she knew Ginny was about to scream at her. _'Why did things go so bad then?'_

"You already told him?" Ginny asked her, narrowing her eyes.

"No, Ginny! I didn't!"

"You knew about them?" Ron snapped at Hermione, proving her point.

Hermione opened her mouth to say something in her defense, but she couldn't say anything. _'I promised Ron I would tell him. I'm so screwed.'_

"You even just promised me that you would tell me if you knew something! And you knew!" Ron shouted at her, looking completely betrayed.

"Ron! Stop it! It isn't Hermione's fault!" Ginny yelled. "I made her promise not to tell you! This morning even before breakfast! But I shouldn't have made her promise anything!"

"She promised me, though!"

"Ron listen! I don't care! I shouldn't have made her promise! And trust me, she fought it, she never wanted to hurt you or lie to you! Hell, she's so in love with you, Ron! It was stupid of me to make her lie to the guy she cries herself asleep thinking about."

Hermione looked at Ron. He was avoiding her glance.

"You know what Ron? I'm just going to let it all out!" Ginny shouted.

Hermione looked at Ginny curiously.

"Ginny, no. You don't have to." Harry spoke up suddenly.

"Harry. Stay out of this!" Ginny looked back at Ron. "Ron, we had sex last night!"

"What?" Ron stammered. "Bloody hell, get off my sister!" Ron stormed up to Harry and tried to pull him off the couch. _'Not only Hermione… well almost… but my own little sis?"_

"Ron, stop!" Hermione yelled.

"Hermione!" Ron yelled.

"Ron! Leave Hermione out of this! It's not her fault! None of this is!" Ginny screamed.

"Oh?" Ron said.

Hermione knew what was coming. She glanced at Harry, who wasn't paying attention.

"This summer… your dear friend Hermione made out with Harry!"

"What?" Ginny asked. Hermione looked away and tried to brush away all of the tears.

"Yes, Ginny. It's true. The same day you saw me and Ron together." Hermione said glancing at Ron. She had to let it all out. "Me and Ron got into a stupid fight and I was hurt and Harry was grieving and it just happened and it meant nothing and I regret it more then anything else I've ever done in my life." Hermione looked at Ginny. She couldn't tell what she was thinking. "I love Ron, Ginny. You know that. I just never told you about this, because I didn't want you to get hurt. But it meant nothing to both of us. Trust me, I love Ron."

"Yeah, Ginny, it meant nothing." Harry said.

After a while, Ginny nodded.

"Ok."

"What?" Hermione looked at her surprised.

"OK. I know you love Ron—you couldn't fake those crazy feelings." Ginny glanced at Ron, who looked uncomfortable and miserable. "And it was a mistake. And it happened ages ago, so… what good is it to hold a grudge?" Ginny said sincerely. _'Plus it looks like you're desperately going to need a friend tonight. And loads of tissues.'_ Mainly Ginny forgave her, the rest of her just felt sorry for her.

"Oh Ginny." Hermione said and started to well up again.

Ginny smiled slightly and then looked at Ron.

"Well? Can you try not to hate all of us and try not to hold a grudge?" She asked him.

"Well, Harry, I guess you were just grieving for Sirius. But you even try and hurt Ginny you're dead." Ron looked at Ginny. "Gin, you're my little sis. But you don't have to lie to me."

"I know Ron. I just… had a feeling you would react this way." Ginny said.

"Yeah. It's fine." Ron nodded and walked towards the portrait hole.

"Ron! I'm sorry!" Hermione called.

Ron just shook his head and pushed through the hole with his head down.

"Hermione, I'll get him." Ginny stood up and quickly squeezed Harry's hand and gave Hermione a very unconvincing encouraging look before darting after Ron through the portrait hole.

A/N: Well, that chapter was a lot of… drama! And a lot of fighting. All of these huge things just keep getting dumped on poor Ron. He's had a lot to take in so I'm sorry if he's being such a butt to Hermione. Poor Hermione too! Nothing goes her way either. Poor Ginny has to pick up all the slack. Poor Harry only gets about 5 lines in this chapter! He only has the nice "Yeah" additions like "Potsy". (Gilmore Girls, sorry!) So much for the 'title character'! (Sorry if this chapter was slacking, I finished this up at 2:08am. It was calling to me) Well, I'll write more soon! **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Deal With It

A/N: Hey all! Thanks for reviewing! Sorry everyone (HERMIONE) has been crying so much! They may be all depressed now, but it's part of my big plan! Be prepared for another beloved pairing! REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I did in my dream last night. (Honestly!)

Ch 6: Deal With It

"Ron! I'm sorry!" Hermione called.

Ron just shook his head and pushed through the hole with his head down.

"Hermione, I'll get him." Ginny stood up and quickly squeezed Harry's hand and gave Hermione a very unconvincing encouraging look before darting after Ron through the portrait hole. "Ron wait!" Ginny followed him down the hall, almost needing to break into a run to keep up with him.

"Ginny no." Ron said, turning around to face her.

"You know, sometimes you can be really stubborn." Ginny said, catching her breath and walked over to him. "And some times you can be a real stupid prat."

Ron glared at her. But when a group of giggling girls entered the corridor, he turned and started walking away. Ginny followed him.

"Ron, come on." Ginny insisted, struggling to keep up with his long strides.

"No Gin. Not here." Ron turned to corner and led them to a deserted classroom. They walked inside and he locked the door with a flick of his wand.

"Why are you doing this, Ron?" Ginny asked scowling and sitting on top of the teacher's desk.

"Doing what?" Ron asked leaning against the wall by the door.

"You're running away."

"Oh not this again."

"Ron, Hermione loves you. And you love her. But you're pushing her away again! Why?" Ginny asked, already knowing the answer.

"Because! She and Harry… they made out in my own bedroom!"

Ginny winced.

"Well, that does sound bad when you put it that way."

Ron nodded then took a deep breath.

"I'm surprised you're not upset too." He said.

"Why should I be?" Ginny asked, motioning for Ron to sit down next to her. He did.

"Why shouldn't you be?" Ron asked, looking at her in shock.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because Harry and I weren't together then, Hermione was hurt and confused and wasn't thinking at all when she did it. Which is completely understandable."

"How so? How is it 'completely understandable' that she was confused and upset?" Ron asked, feeling sick to his stomach.

"Ron, you and her just kissed! For the first time! And it was actually kind of heavy and passionate. It was a lot for her to swallow. And it was unexpected, but it wasn't like her and Harry. It was the result of the loads of feelings you two had for each other. You loved each other even then. It was like when you shake up a bottle of soda and you take off the cap, releasing all of the pressure. Like fireworks…" Ginny said, sounding a bit dreamy.

Ron sighed.

"What? It's romantic. You shared this crazy passionate moment and then you got into a fight. A stupid crazy fight. And you left Hermione in tears. I would be totally confused if I just made out with someone I was wild about and then they start a ridiculous fight that really _hurts_." Ginny paused and started at her brother. "I have no clue why Hermione likes you at all."

"Thanks." Ron said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I take that back. I can see why. You're my big brother who has to save the world. I usually find it annoying, but I can see how that could seem… um, not annoying… to her."

Ron scoffed.

"Ron, Hermione loves you. She made a horrible mistake that she totally regrets. It's is tearing her apart."

"It's tearing me apart."

"I know, Ron. I'm really sorry." Ginny paused. "I really don't want to see you hurt and I know you are. But do you really think that hurting Hermione back will help?"

"Gin, it hurts to even think about what they did!" Ron exclaimed looking like he was just punched in the gut.

"They didn't do much, because it didn't mean much!" Ginny said. "I know it hurts, but you love Hermione, and being with her is the only you're going to feel better! Take some time away from her to cool off, but you have to remember you love her and you two are meant for each other!"

"What?" Ron asked, looking at Ginny.

"I've told Hermione this too." Ginny said, and then continued when Ron's mouth dropped open to say something. "And she was surprised and really happy about it. You two are meant for each other, Ron. You too love each other so much that it hurts."

"It does hurt, Ginny." Ron said, burying his face in his hands.

"I know. I feel that way too." Ginny said.

Ron looked up.

"You love Harry?"

Ginny took in a deep slow breath and then nodded. _'Yeah I do. And Ron's just going to have to deal with it.'_

"Ok." Ron said quietly.

"What?"

"I said ok."

Ginny grinned.

"You know, Hermione needs you."

"I know."

Ginny smiled, knowing everything would play itself out.

"And I'm going to be damned if I let anyone hurt her." Ron said.

"Well…" Ginny hesitated, not wanting to hurt Ron with what she would say. "Then you had better stop treating her like you are."

"Ginny…"

"What if you're hurting her by not being with her? Because if you aren't with her she's blaming herself and feeling rotten. She hurts when she's with you and when you isn't."

"How do you know all of this stuff?" Ron asked amazed.

"Many nights of the two of us crying ourselves to sleep together." Ginny said honestly.

"Oh."

They sat there in silence.

"Hey Ron? Whose classroom is this?" Ginny asked slowly, noticing a few cauldrons lining the wall.

"Oh shit. It's Snape's." Ron stood up quickly. "We should probably leave."

The two of them ran back to the Common Room and went to their separate dormitories. Ginny crept inside the darkened room and found what she had been dreading to find.

"Hermione?" Ginny called softly, unsure if she was asleep. Hermione slowly sat up, just so the moonlight lay on her face. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Hermione said, sounding distant and emotionless.

"You know everything will be ok, right?" Ginny asked, sitting down in her own bed.

"Sure." Hermione mumbled. "It'll be great waking up tomorrow and remember the mistakes of today."

"Hermione—"

"It'll be so fun going down to breakfast unable to make eye contact with Ron because I know he'd just ignore me."

You don't know—"

"And I'll definitely enjoy regretting ever making that stupid promise to _you_." Hermione finished sharply.

"I know. I do too. I'm so sorry. You have no idea—"

"Right, Ginny. You regret having everyone else suffering to keep _your_ secret. As long as everyone was listening to you, you could go on enjoying your life with no worries about it coming out. I wish you didn't even tell me in the first place. Then I wouldn't be in this mess at all."

"Hey! You can't do that. I know I shouldn't have made you promise. I was just confused! I didn't want Ron getting mad at me over it!"

"Of course, but who cares if he gets mad at me, right?"

"No, Hermione, I didn't mean it like that! Earlier I was being ridiculous and stupid. I should have known Ron would have ended up fine. I really do regret it! This is my fault. My secret wasn't your responsibility. I just kind of forgot it was a secret that would hurt what you too have."

"Well, Ron is protective of you and I knew he would want to know about this. I'm in love with him, Ginny! And now we don't have anything together, thanks to you!"

"I just talked to Ron now! I just saved your relationship!"

"What the hell do you mean? Don't try and act like a martyr, it can't make up for this."

"I wasn't the one who cheated on him with his best friend in his own bloody room!" Ginny shouted. The words rang out leaving the room silent and it's inhabitants a little damaged.

"I know." Hermione squeaked after a moment.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't want you feeling guilty anymore or hurting, but Ron's my brother. I reasoned with him on your favor already, now it's time to defend him." Ginny paused.

"I know he didn't do anything wrong, trust me." Hermione said quietly, again sounding distant and empty. "That was all my fault and I _hate_ myself for it." She said bitterly.

"I'm sorry. He's just really… hurting." Ginny said, causing a tear to roll down Hermione's cheek.

She couldn't say anything.

"Hermione?"

Hermione sat on her bed feeling numb.

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't know." Hermione took a deep breath.

"Ok." Ginny said, unsure if she should leave her alone. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

A cold breeze escaped the window that was cracked open. Hermione shivered in her bed and Ginny ran over and shut the window.

"Christmas Eve is just five days away." Ginny said.

"Yep."

"Hey…" Ginny started, remembering something. "That means… only five days until we go to the Burrow!"

At first Hermione smiled, but then she remembered what happened there last time she was there.

"I can't go."

"What? Hermione, why do you say that?" Ginny asked, only thinking of the upcoming Christmas Eve. "Oh… Come on, you can't let that get in the way of having a good time."

"It's Ron, Ginny." Hermione said as if that should explain everything. "It's his house."

"It's mine too."

"Well, it's his family."

"Hermione, I'm _in_ that family."

"No. It's his bedroom." Hermione sighed. "It's what happened there."

"This time will be different there. And you have to face the music and deal with it eventually. The longer you wait, the more it'll hurt."

"Yeah."

"Look. I talked to Ron. He said, he just needs some time, but then, everything will be all right. You can still have fun." Ginny said, not really believing herself that what she said was true.

A/N: Well kiddies, that's all! Next chapter: Remus and Tonks.

Review!


	7. Moving Into Grimmauld Place

A/N: Hey everyone! I've been really nervous about writing this chapter, because I've never written anything Remus and Tonks and I love that pairing and don't want to mess it up. So keep that in mind as you read it! R+R!!!! Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!

Ch 7:Moving Into Grimmauld Place

As she lied in her bed late at night, she remembered all of the reasons why she had to go and find him. He meant everything to her, and it hurt knowing he could be hurting. He could be all alone somewhere with only his grief and his pride. Very suicidal company. She had to find him. Even if he tried to pull his "noble routine", thinking that leaving her is the only way to  
protect her. He never understood that to her, he was perfect. To her, life with him is the only thing she wants in life. Life without him gives her no reason to even live. To her, the fact that he was a werewolf doesn't matter.

To her, letting someone take care of you only proves that you are strong. To her, he is the love of her life, and she needed to help him. It was just hard to make all of this make sense. Everything happened so fast. He made her feel something so much stronger then anything she ever felt before. And it hurt to remember everything they went through. But at the same time, it made her feel really happy to know she finally found someone who truly loved her. If only that someone could would let himself be loved in return.

::::

"He's gone." An old raspy voice echoed in her head.

Nymphadora Tonks shifted positions in the lumpy, scratchy mattress. _What? Who's gone?_ She turned her head and felt a sharp stab of pain in her neck. _What's going on?_ Tonks opened her eyes.

The room was painfully bright. Tonks rubbed her eyes and reached to feel her pink spikes, but instead felt her long mousy brown hair. She felt like she was asleep for hours. Actually, she felt like she was just trampled by a centaur. _What happened? And where was she?_ She tried sitting up.

"Ooh!" She moaned.

"Easy there." The same raspy voice said coming from her left side. She felt two hands on her back lifting her up. But she couldn't turn her head to look at the person. She could hardly move. Slowly, she turned her head to see an old and weary Alastor Moody looking at her nervously. She noticed the door way behind him and saw a healer walk past the room. She  
was in St. Mungo's. Something bad happened.

"Wh-what happened Moody?"

"We battled the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries, Tonks. To save Harry and his friends. Don't you remember?" Moody said stiffly, getting up from his chair with a grunt and started pacing to room.

_What happened yesterday? Or was it a month ago. _Nothing was making sense.

"When did this happen? How long—" she asked.

"Almost two months ago. Today is August 11th, you've been out quite a while—hit by Bellatrix and fell. Just a few broken ribs, oh and some muscles were torn in your neck, but they've  
straitened most of it out." Now it was coming back to her. They we at the Order meeting, when Snape sent them a message saying Harry and his friends all left the school for the  
Department of Mysteries because they thought Sirius was there. They flew to the Department of Mysteries and then were pulled into battle.

"Moody, who's…gone?" Tonks asked, her throat tightening up and dreading the answer.

Moody stopped at the window and sighed. He kept his back to her, as if not wanting to see the look on her face when he told her.

"Maybe I shouldn't be the one to tell you this."

"No, Alastor, please!" Tonks insisted, breathing quickly and getting anxious.

"It's Sirius."

::::

After one long week, Tonks stood at the window in her room at St. Mungo's. Her faced mixed up with concentration; she was frantically trying to change the color of her hair. Frustrated and determined, she was trying so hard—actually a little too hard—to change it to any color but her natural brown, that she once turned her head completely bald.

"Come on!" Tonks shouted and let out a groan of frustration as her brown locks quickly grew down to her ankles. She tried again, and her hair only was shortened into a floppy boyish cut. "No!" Tonks screamed and kicked the wall furiously. "Ow…" Tonks let out a shaky breathe and leaned against the wall, gripping on the windowsill. Everything around her was blurry and  
spinning. She swayed and slowly lowered herself to the floor and sat against the wall.

"Sirius." She said and let out a sob. She just met Sirius when the Order was organized and he was the only cool member of her family that wasn't a Death Eater and didn't go insane. She just got to know him, they just became close friends and now he was dead.

A tear rolled down her cheek just as she heard footsteps in the corridor. She stood up, holding on to the window sill for support and wiped her face dry just as Molly Weasley walked in her room.

"Oh Tonks! Dear, are you ok? Sorry if I was interrupting, how silly of me. I should have known you would want to be alone after—well… you know." Molly said, looking flustered.

"No Molly, it's alright. I'm great. You don't have to wor—"

"Nonsense. Tonks, you aren't that good of a liar, you know. Just let us help out a bit." Molly looked around the room disapprovingly. "And we can start by getting you out of this miserable filthy room! Honestly, do these people think people will get well in this place? Now…"

"Mrs. Weasley! I'm ok here. I only have a few more days, I leave after the full moon actually, and then I'll be off to my own place again." Tonks instantly regretted saying that as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She what was coming next. An invitation.

"Your own place?" Mrs. Weasley began, as predicted. "That won't do! You can't be there all by yourself!"

"Mrs. Weasley, I'm a grown woman, I'll survive on my own." Tonks insisted.

"I know, I know. Of course you'll survive on your own dear, just you'll be lonely, thinking of Sirius and everything. It'll be hard for you."

_Well, I have been dreading going home… all alone with my mind going crazy._ But she couldn't take Mrs. Weasley up on something like that.

"And, my apologies, but it's not really a secret that you aren't the greatest cook." Mrs. Weasley said smiling. Tonks let out a polite stiff laugh. "Please, let us take you in. Come live at the Burrow. Trust me, we've got room, now that the twins are in Diagon Alley with their silly joke shop."

"Thank you very much, but I can't… I couldn't be a bother to you all, you've done enough for me." Tonks said, meaning it very much. But mostly, she couldn't bear being "taken care of" again. She hasn't been "taken care of" since before she went to Hogwarts. And even then, she didn't like not being her own person and not being independent. Besides being raised, no one has opted to take care of her at all. No one has put her before themselves or pampered her or anything. No one has ever loved her like that. Certainly no guy has. She's had relationships, but not meaningful ones. She might have been kind of in love, but it was never mutual.

"Don't be silly, it wouldn't be any problem."

"But I can't, Mrs. Weasley. I have to get back on my feet—on my own. I'd feel like I was intruding." Tonks said.

"I understand." Mrs. Weasley said, looking a little disappointed. "But do me a favor and let someone help you."

Tonks was quiet.

"Maybe I will."

"I mean, if not with us at the Burrow, I suppose you could always live at Grimmauld Place." She said.

"What? But that's Sirius's—" Tonks started confused.

"No, Sirius gave everything there to Harry and Harry's decided to let the Order continue using it. And you are part of the Order, so it'll be no problem for you to stay there." Mrs. Weasley said.

"But why do you suggest that? I'll still be on my own, won't I?"

Mrs. Weasley grinned wide.

"What?"

"Remus Lupin is living there too. You won't be alone at all." She smiled, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

_Living with Remus? I'm going to live with Remus?_ Well, she had always been fond of Remus. They were pretty good friends. She certainly wouldn't mind living there. With Remus.

"Well, Mrs. Weasley, I guess that'll be good for me." Tonks paused, noting the eager look on her face. _Does she think something would happen between them? That's weird. After she constantly tries to fix me up with Bill… Well, there's definitely something charming about him. But nothing would happen between us. We're just friends_. "Alright. I'll move in to Grimmauld Place."

"Splendid!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "I'll go see if you can be released early!" And she practically skipped out the door.

Tonks smiled to herself. That'll be good. Moving into Grimmauld Place.

Feeling calm and more relaxed, Tonks took a deep breath and tried morphing her hair again. Her hair turned a warm, comforting blonde shade and fell past her shoulders. It worked. And for the first time in weeks, Tonks was excited.

"No, Alastor, this is something I have to do. You know that." Tonks insisted, frustrated.

"Tonks, not now. The Order is supposed to be ready to follow any lead that comes in and with Christmas in two weeks, it'd be better that we can go through it without another death to worry about." Moody said.

"Moody, I not going to get myself killed." Tonks promised, trying to shake off the fact that Christmas was coming.

"You better not! After all I taught you about constant vigilance!" Mad-eye exclaimed, his magical eye spinning spasmodically in its socket. "All in all, it's better if you didn't go. The Order doesn't need to be worried about yet another thing, especially with Christmas—."

"That's enough with bloody Christmas!!!" Tonks yelled, unaware of a few fellow Order members watching them argue in the gloomy meeting room of Grimmauld Place. Her fists clenched. She tucked a strand of her mousy miserable brown hair behind her ear and closed her eyes, trying to control her emotions right now. She fought back the tear threatening to be noticed and put a hand on a chair for support. _All of this talk of Christmas and traditions and mistletoe when Remus is out somewhere all alone and could be hurt._ "Honestly! Remus could be de--."She stopped. Her bottom lip trembled. She took a deep breath. "He could be… hurt… or worse. And nobody here gives a damn about him!"

"You don't even know where to find him!" Moody said, in a cautious, careful tone.

"So? It doesn't help his case that I'm the only one here who cares enough to try and find him! After all the work he's done for the Order! After he's been a friend to all of you—" Tonks shouted, acknowledging Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Professor McGonagall, and Hagrid who were there for the meeting they were supposed to be having. "—since before I was born! This is how you repay him? By ignoring the fact that he exists?" Tonks shouted, letting out the anger that built up through all of the stress she was under.

No one said anything. Tonks never let out many signs of frustration in front of the Order, let alone an outburst like this. Kingsley Shacklebolt apparated in the room, looking somewhat concerned when he saw the crowd of Order members around a distressed Tonks.

"So if you won't try and help me find Remus or even pretend to care about him, don't you dare try to get in my way!" Tonks threatened, a few sobs escaping her.

"We do care about Remus, dear--" Mrs. Weasley spoke up.

"But not enough to try and save his life." Tonks said coldly, wiping tears from her face and walking out of the room.

"Tonks wait! I know where he is!" Kingsley called after her.

But she had already disapparated.

_I'm going to find him._ Tonks thought as she apparated right outside Hogwarts grounds. She began walking towards the school. _I just don't know where._


End file.
